Marriage Advice for Arnold Schwarzenegger & Maria Shriver from BASEBALL

Some Marriage Saving Advice for Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger from the World of Baseball – by Gina Parris

Last night I fell asleep while Firstborn’s baseball playoff game was still being broadcast. It was  the seventh inning, it was late at night, due to an earlier rain delay, and they were ahead 4 to 0.

I woke up to a text message from Jordan that  had come at midnight saying only,

“Walk off suicide in the 10th. hahahaha Crazy-ness!”

What??? Do you ever feel like you miss all the fun? I watched the replay video of the last inning and laughed my head off as the exuberant dogpile went after Jordan Parris. Heck, he had just come into the game in that inning!

I also woke up to news of a separation announcement between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. They are splitting up shortly after their 25th wedding anniversary. Since most of my life lessons in this house come from our world of baseball, it got me thinking, about how love is like baseball. In fact, perhaps even Arnold and Maria could have discovered some turnaround tips from baseball.

1. It’s much more magical in the beginning.

One of my younger sons also plays baseball – Little League. He always shows up beaming with passion for the game. When he’s at bat, he is best friends with every catcher and the men in blue. If he forgets to smile, at least 5 parents from the sideline beg for that big cheeser. If he is pitching, he can rarely wipe that smile off his face. When his team loses – he tries hard not to cry! I remember when Firstborn was like that.  He is nearly 20 now, and the infatuation has mellowed to a deeper, complicated kind of respect and love, but it takes effort some times to keep the flames alive.

One day my friend, Dr. Tom Hanson asked Major League Slugger, Carlos Pena what he thinks about when he is hitting. Carlos enthusiastically answered, “I pretend it’s Little League!”

You know, this works in relationships too.  When you are in this game for the long haul, it helps to remember what you did in the early days! Instead of focusing on how it’s “not as fun as it used to be,” try this: Remember how YOU used to act in the beginning. How did you show up to engage with your spouse? How did you act? What did you do or think differently then compared to now?  You were attracted to that person for a reason. Focus on those reasons.

Another thing I notice about baseball is -

2. Sacrificing is a noble thing to do!

Love is, after all, a team sport. The object is victory – together.  When Jordan laid down the bunt last night, it was not so he could be the star. We love the glamorous walk-off homeruns for that. No, this play wouldn’t even reflect in his batting average. Yet, it would win a game and keep his team alive to the next level of post season play.  The team exuberance was for everybody.

When you make sacrifices for your Love, do you feel like a martyr, or are you excited for the possible outcome? Sometimes it gets exasperating to feel like your own needs are second, but when you focus on what you can do for another, somehow you get rewarded.

Speaking of rewards – somehow no matter what the future holds, it is worth is to play ALL OUT.

3. Playing HARD is the only way to play.

In baseball – half- hearted attempts will end careers. In marriage half-hearted attempts will end a relationship, or at least greatly reduce the value brought to it. Why is it so easy to become the most careless with those we love the most? Worse then, once we start dreaming of “free agency,” the temptation to leave can get to be too much. Life is complicated. Love is complicated. Baseball is complicated. (ha!) But giving your all is always the way to go.  At least you don’t have to wonder what could have been if you hadn’t held back.  And besides, its just more fun when you are truly engaged.

I wonder if Arnold and Maria have been miserable for a long time. Usually any marriage is made up of memories – good ones and not so good ones. Those that make it to the “marriage hall of fame,” are usually those that chose to focus on and create more good moments – more treasured memories. I wish them all the best, and won’t pretend that there are 3 simple answers to it all. Still, may they find victory in the process, and may we all take time to treasure what we DO have today.

Until next time, keep playing to win and enjoy YOUR game.

I’ll be right here…

In your corner,

Gina

Check this Out:

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